It comes in many forms and, contrary to what you might think, it is quite common.
It is not only pervasive but insidious.
It is not simply experienced from others but inflicted on ourselves.
It is not only physical or mental and emotional; it can also be spiritual too.
It is not only overt and obvious but can occur in ways subtle and slight.
It is not only what is done but what is not, through things misstated or neglected.
It is not always conscious or deliberate but unconscious and automatic.
We can only give what we have to share; we can only be what we are in any moment.
If we are brimming and overflowing with pain, chances are we will share and transmit that to those around us. As sad, or perhaps as sobering, as it is, once exposed to abuse, it can repeat because the familiarity of a pattern, if known and embedded, becomes entwined as part of us and we replay it within our field of awareness and it attracts more of the same like a magnet that draws to it more of itself that resonates with the message broadcast.
When we find ourselves giving without corresponding balance of receiving, it may be at play.
When we find ourselves doing things we don’t wish to or feel like doing or that sees us sell out;
When we find ourselves thinking thoughts that are destructive and harmful;
When we find ourselves compulsively doing addictive things that do not serve us;
When we find ourselves attracting events or situations that are seem to be unloving and unkind;
When we find ourselves in relationships that are lacklustre and limiting, depleting and draining;
When we find ourselves in conversations that are toxic;
When we find ourselves exposed to negative influences that repeat old patterns and focus on the past;
When we find ourselves drawn to unhealthy, undernourishing, unwise things.
Essentially, anything that is lacking the wholeness we are or that lacks the fullness of energy that interests and inspires, that uplifts and energises can be tantamount to abuse.
The thing with abuse is that most of us have experienced it in a myriad of ways if not through partners, loves or friendships, then family and neighbours, employers and colleagues, through systems and media, or simply ourselves.
The barrage of images and the material we see that is observed by our psyche reveals the extent of the distortions in the world and around us. This is not to fear it but observe it and be keenly interested to see what you are experiencing and manifesting.
In the cycle of abuse, trauma persists and with trauma we remain lost in time and often disconnected from ourselves and therein this moment. Living from our head and perhaps ungrounded and unfeeling, we concoct a fantasy to replace the pain of our reality, and we may even refuse to see what is before us, preferring a deluded perception that promises to deliver a different outcome that feels better or provides hope.
Dealing with abuse at its core is fundamental to our welfare and wellness and that of others.
Taking stock and being kind to yourself is wonderful as is choosing to find ways to heal that restore the balance and reconnect you to your vibrant and vivacious self.
Healing is a process, and processes can take some moments.
Start to view your life with loving kindness and compassionate awareness.
There is nothing to miss and nowhere you need to be but here.
May first light awaken you and last light carry you home.