Being a people pleaser and someone who was sensitive, I always found others happily encroached upon or infringed my boundaries. I thought nothing of it, and I didn’t realise how toxic it was to me until much later in life.
Creatives, empaths, compassionate types and kind-hearted as well as sensitive souls tend to tolerate a lot of nonsense, and often their desire to belong and connect sees them excuse even abuse. Yet, not everyone is aware or conscious, awakened or enlightened, and so some people unconsciously and deliberately seek to ‘take’ or ‘vampire’ our energy, push us off centre or keep us in a state of feeling out of sorts and therefore out of the presence and away from our true power in the now.
Self-respect is about noticing truly what is happening and whether other factors are at play, it is also about how we feel in response to what has happened when with others.
No one wishes to be played or hurt, manipulated or abused, yet it happens daily to many millions.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to remove yourself and say, “NO,” to walk away and clear yourself and your energy of a pattern that is toxic and dysfunctional, unhealthy and draining.
Many a person knows the stress and detriment caused by having such people in their lives, or indeed such possessions, or perhaps food or substances that deplete and drain.
Drawing a line and being resolute can help to end painful cycles and destructive patterns that seem intent on undoing and unravelling us, keeping us in a downward or depressive cycle where we feel disconnected from our truth and our power.
We can’t fix or change, save or rescue anyone, not really. Our greatest gift of love is the one we give ourselves in healing and climbing into higher consciousness for then, through our example alone, we become a beacon that inspires others to commit to ascend themselves.
I remember a friend, Jill, once sharing how when you have done the work and raised yourself, it’s like you are an orchard without fences and people pass by and help themselves to the fruit and berries, to sample and to enjoy like the pearls of wisdom shared, but they can be oblivious to the work it takes to prepare and till the soil, fertilise and nourish it, plant and raise, support and strengthen it to full blossom over decades.
So, for us, we can keep handing out fruit and allowing others to take a piece, or we can raise a semblance of fences and have boundaries built on territorial integrity where others can enjoy what has been grown and come close to learn to create their own orchard. It’s the same concept as ‘give a man a fish, he eats for a day; teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.’
In your journey, you are responsible for you. Others may benefit and wish to share or enjoy in your journey, as we do in theirs, yet it is only ours to experience.
Wishing you fearlessness and fortitude to create your own thriving orchard filled with a cornucopia of goodness and goodies!