As a kid from age five, I went to Catholic schools and our family attended church at all major celebrations and the odd Sunday, here and there.
I considered myself a part-time Catholic, I guess, but never felt drawn as I got older to the church or the way spirituality was shared. The titles and rituals, garbs and ceremony never really resonated with me.
Indeed, having to find things to confess about to ensure I kept the priest happy seemed like a lie and therefore a sin in itself when I was a child. I used to ask friends on either side in the pew what they were going to say and copy them, ’cause, let’s face it, when you are a kid, there is little you think of as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; you are just being and playing.
As I grew up, I found that my sense of connection to source was a more personal and intimate thing and relied less on others and outward projections. Giving one’s power away or presuming that a higher power could step in and sort out your issues never really worked out for me or my family.
Sure, we had tough times, torturous ones even. Times when you would plead and wish that something angelic and saintly might descend from the heavens to alleviate the burden, yet that did not happen.
Many a time as I went into adulthood I realised that my church was far simpler and far less religious. I realised that, for me, goodness of heart and purity of intention was my church. I saw how generosity of spirit and kindness in action was my church. I came to witness how being with others to have fun and to live was my church for they were things that brought me joy.
I also saw quite clearly in the words of Martin Luther King when he said, ‘I look to the day when people will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.‘
It resounded with me because it had broader appeal. The appeal for me was that I had seen misconduct by those who had worn garbs of seeming purity as though washing their hands with impunity yet afforded reverence and respect. At the same time, I had seen examples of those whom society may class as unsavoury or unpopular, unclean and unwanted, and how their behaviour resembled higher notions of honesty, kindness and valour despite their situation.
Everything serves a purpose, including religion, and if it brings benefit and helps you to craft a life that reflects your wishes then it is wonderful. However, for me, as it stands I see more value at times in places that reflect the wonderment of creation through nature and animals, through the collective heart of humanity and in ways far less obvious and far more sublime.
Each to their own in their own way!