My family was always loving in its own way, and like most humans we have our fair share of distortions and dysfunctions. While some addictive patterns and destructive behaviours were absent, others were there in bucket loads.
Where we come from can reveal our thinking and our ability to live life. Not always, but it provides a fertile source of learning and indeed a powder-keg of provocation as it triggers our patterns over the course of our lifetime in a myriad of ways.
Yet, Eckhart Tolle says something quite poignant when he says, ‘If you think you are enlightened, spend two weeks with your family or parents.’
To have cleared and healed our patterns such that they no longer bother or disturb us is a sign of freedom from the machinations of our mind and of the programs that were instilled in us as we grew up through conditioning or via the family tree.
There is a real power in having stepped out on your own and carved your own life from having transcended patterns from our birth family for it means harnessing your heritage in service of a fuller, truer you.
It takes guts and true grit to confront and lovingly transcend without flinching the patterns of our birth family that stultify or stunt us for it reveals a tenacity of spirit that is nothing short of a veritable powerhouse of strength and wisdom of Olympic proportions.
Many leave home at a young age physically yet carry the pains of their childhood into their adult life living effectively from their wounded inner child and family patterns. They may be separate physically, but emotionally, energetically, mentally and actually in terms of patterns they sponsor and live in their daily life they are simply replicating and reliving the same looped patterns learnt in childhood albeit with new faces and in different places.
We’ve often heard the concept you change suburbs, states or countries, even people and friends, yet wherever you go, there you are. When we walk away out of defiance and desperation, the question I wonder is whether we have walked away free and clear or walked towards the same at the door at which we arrive. There is a vast difference.
It was during an intense period of re-birthing sessions that my practitioner would say over and over again that it is not so much that opposites attract though it may seem to be on the surface. Rather, it is that we magnetise and attract to us those who resonate at the same frequency as us.
I remember standing in front of him as he would point to couples in the room and show how in the heat of their patterns the ‘outside of one person was reflecting the inside of the other’.
This was quite amazing to witness for when one is in outbursts of anger, we see the explosion with the other simply being there; yet, in truth, the other may be internalising their own anger and imploding on the inside.
So, as to how or when things shift, or if they have been cleared, time and experience usually reveal what has been cleared and to what degree.
Generally, if something has the ability to distress or disturb our frequency that has happened then there are remnants or tendrils left to heal, like an oily residue that is left behind that we return to clear at deeper levels and layers. The analogy in healing circles of peeling the onion may have some relevance here as things can overlay and superimpose or be impacted and so when we heal, we can be peeling back the layers, shedding a skin so to speak, to leave us freer and clearer each and every time.
Trust me, I get it. The healing process and journey can, at times, be as tedious as it is arduous, yet in truth it is also as liberating as it is exhilarating.
Growth, awareness and being set free to live a full and authentic life is a process and a calling that sees us not only awaken but blossom and then realise how much more awakened we can become.
Happy healing!